Why go it alone?

Most times we are faced with tough decisions in the choices we make or required to make that can make or mar our lives or future. Some decisions might seem trivial but are capable of changing our lives forever such as: what school to attend or course to study, what friends to keep, where to work, who to marry, size of family, etc. This could be a daunting task without the necessary background and experience to handle such.

One of the major gifts from God is that of “CHOICE” to determine right or wrong, good or bad or between A or B. Our exposures, experiences, value systems, goals, desires, motivations, etc. creates a bias and have lot to do the choices we make and how we make those choices daily.

However, nobody has monopoly of knowledge or can claim to know it all. In exercising our right of choice therefore, we can also choose to seek knowledge from other sources or people in making informed decisions. Even the Bible appreciates the importance of seeking knowledge. Proverb 10:14a encapsulated it that “wise men layup knowledge….” However, so many still fail and fall into life of regrets for failing to seek advice or tap into the knowledge base of others. Some of the factors responsible are thus:

• Unwillingness
• Pride
• Know it all attitude
• Fear
• Ignorance

Businesses are failing and collapsing because the owners have refused to seek advice or help from people capable of helping and have allowed these factors to be a barrier. Youth and the young are also destroying their future and destinies by not learning from other people’s mistakes or seeking help or assistance in the choices they make and the decisions they take. Generally it is believed that depending on others is a sign of weakness, which is far from the truth. Don’t you wonder what it would be like if our parents or leaders had a close, wise ear to talk to and a kind heart to glean from, or a mentor to offer safe counsel?

Most of us would have had a better life growing up and would not have had to contend with the various issues and challenges that the decisions of our parents or leaders brought. For example, if the proposed light rail project being anchored by the then Governor of Lagos State, Lateef Jakande was not stop or scrapped, traffic situation in Lagos would not have been this horrifying.

We once were a society that was centered on communal living but these days, we are more individualistic in nature, we rely on ourselves, believe so much in our abilities and seldom see the reason why we need to ask others for help. This is in an attempt to appear independent and not appear vulnerable.

Even athletes involved in individual sports still need the help and advice of a coach. Eagles also need the help of the wind to soar. Look for your own support, someone or group that will add to you: pastor, more experienced colleagues, teachers/lecturers, mentors, business gurus, consultant, etc. However, as a note of caution, the following factors should be considered in seeking advice:

• Think before you move: have a clear goal of what you want to do or achieve and carry out your own independent review and knowledge gathering. This is also applicable to business owners.
• Choose right: be careful who you approach for advice, help or learn from. Do your background checks and be sure you are on the same page and have the same motivation or agenda. 
• Collate and Process: collate all the information/advice obtained and process them. Remember, the decision of the choices to make is still yours. Think well and deep but most importantly pray about it for the supreme Mentor’s (God)input
• Review regularly: don’t just sit back, review progress made and measure against the initial goals and make necessary amendments to variations observed

Remember Bible says that "he who isolates himself seeks his own desire; he rages against all wise judgment" (Prov.18:1). We become dangerously vulnerable without healthy and insightful help from others.

Benefits

1. Accountability: others can also help keep you in line by ensuring limited mistakes are made. You are made responsible to others who can help keep you in check
2. Cheap: It’s far cheaper to learn from others’ mistakes or seek advice from others who are better experienced rather than learn from your mistakes. Costs of mistakes are usually high and can cost a life time of pain, agony and regret.
3. Reduce wastages: time and energy wasted in the trial and error process could be saved and deployed to a better use
4. Additional viewpoints: you are open to more information and insights into issues and can better make informed decisions/choices

If there are areas need shoring up in your life, seek help and advices from others who have better exposure, experience and knowledge but most importantly seek God’s help and guidance. I'm confident you'll treasure the results. We are charged to "submit ourselves to one another" (Eph. 5:21, NIV). Doing so provides both safeguards and insights we lack alone.

Proverb 20:15 “There is gold, and a multitude of rubies: but the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel”.

For advise support, advise and mentoring, mentors@emoyolgroup.com