Responding to issues of life

Life is truly strange with different sides like a coin. We experience the different side of life at a particular point in time or for a life time. Life to some is like a bed of roses, all good and glamorous while to others, it’s full of pain and sorrows or a combination of good and bad but the degree might differ.

The crux is not the fact that everyone has one challenge or the other but our response to such challenges, not reaction and our outlook to life generally. We all respond in different ways to issues and 2 people facing similar challenge might respond differently based on their background, knowledge, skills, etc. We should also strive to learn from others and their responses to array of challenges to guide us and better prepare us for future occurrences.

Without sounding religious, some of these challenges are probably self-inflicted, caused by our own ignorance or lack of adequate knowledge or forces beyond our control, etc. but the experience learnt should be our focus which is usually aimed at sharpening our understanding and prepare us for what is to come and other bigger challenges in life. Every occurrence in life is for a purpose!

I recent met a friend, ex-bank staff, looking good and cheerful. He was asked to leave the banking industry suddenly. He seems to have handled the exit well as my thought was he must be doing well on his own when I saw him. Probably out of frustration, I started narrating what I was going through and the impact of the current economic condition on business, finances, projects, etc. Despite my tales of woes he was all smiles which got me wondering at first. Do I look like a comedian or what I said sounded funny? I was infuriated at his lack of empathy or show of support and concern for what I was going through.

He was forced to open up and tell me what the challenges he had to endure when he saw my countenance change. He achieved a lot and got to the position of Deputy General Manager in one of the new generation banks. Without notice, he was asked to tender his resignation though he was paid well upon exit. Friends, family, colleagues, etc. started proffering different ideas on how to invest and what to invest on. Due to his lack of preparation, inadequate knowledge of the outside world, fear of spending the money on unnecessary things, he quickly jumped into a venture he knew little or nothing about. Unfortunately, he was still living in a rented apartment.

Within months, the venture ran into trouble waters and sank with his investment. Bills were mounting with no other means of livelihood. Job was also hard to come by due to the current economic condition. The landlord soon asked him to vacate his apartment due to rent default. The wife went back to her parents’ house with the children while he moved in with a friend. Properties were sold to defray school fees and other small expenses. He now depends on friends and family members to survive which opened him up to a lot of abuse and embarrassment.

After narrating his story, I felt guilty for complaining so much. What actually hit me hard was his attitude to all he’s going through. He was all smiles while narrating his ordeal and was even cracking jokes. He was a high flyer and moved up the ladder fast. Though we started work same day, he got promoted thrice before I got my first promotion (I was caught in the back lash of top management squabbles and politics).

Two weeks after we met, I am still wondering how he managed to stay calm and cheerful. The fact is your response to situations will to a great extent determine who you are and how you live your life. I am happy that he is gradually getting back on his feet.

Learning points

·     Plan early for your eventual exit even when things seem to be going smoothly for you. Even as a business owner, you’ll eventually step aside probably due to age, sickness or death

·        We are bound to face one challenge or the other in life and you are not the only one.

·   Stop worrying about your challenges and focus your attention on solution. Worrying serves no purpose!

·        Be focused in everything you do and don’t allow little setback stop your dream

·        Remember, it’s just a phase. Tough times don’t last but tough people do! This shall pass.

·     Share your experiences and be a blessing to others. This singular act of kindness might save life or prevent others from going through what you went through.

What is your own experience?